Washington (IPC) -- Apparently the editor of the Atlantic was not the only uninvited visitor on the embarrassing March 15 Signal call that described the real-time bombing of rebels on Yemen. The controversial chat, initiated by National Security Advisor Mike Waltz, featured Vice President J.D. Vance, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, and included several others, many of whom were surprised they had been invited. Snarquee followed up with these accidental guests.
"AL" Anita Luzardi, hairstylist for Secretary Hegseth
"I didn't understand what was going on until I heard Pete's voice, and then I figured it was probably some top-secret thing. Pete enjoys his small talk when I'm giving him his weekly trim."
"FP" Fernando's Pizza
"We thought it was an order. Sometimes when you take an order over the internet, the characters get all screwed up. After a while, we figured it out, and we made an extra-large for Vice President Vance with cheese, pepperoni, and double Houthi."
"RS" Randolph Shipler, Juggler and part-time Hitler impersonator
"I was doing an act for Stephen Miller's kids last weekend and I think my information ended up on Miller's contact list. When I listened to the discussion about the attack, I couldn't believe my ears! And neither could my militia chief when I shared the good news moments later!"
"HHSS" Highland Hills Bridge Club
"Usha Vance’s aunt is head of our bridge club. She's quite a bridge player! At any rate, when we heard the fellas talking about the attack, her eyes opened wide -- like we weren't supposed to be part of this. She said we should keep quiet, and that something was probably going to hit the fan."